On the last day of the Esalen retreat last month, we were asked to share a word. Something that wove all our layered and textured experiences together into a single sentiment. Something that captured the essence- or rather, our essence. We went around in a circle. Some words were “embodied” and “grateful” and “free.”

Then it was my turn.

Childlike, I said, with a smile.

Since returning, I have embodied all the activities that my younger self loved. I’ve danced. Done backflips in the swimming pool. Rollerskated. Rocked a bright pink shirt and watermelon earrings instead of my usual black and gold combination. Said hello to random strangers on the street. Rode my bike just for the pure joy of being on two wheels and feeling the sun on my face.

I care less about acting my age because now I’m focused on acting my spirit.

Ursula Le Guin wrote, “The creative adult is the child who survived.” By embracing my childlike parts, l’m more free and open to receive ideas and connect the dots for my book.

I’m intentionally spending more time doing the activities my 9-year-old self loved to do, while honoring my 90-year-old self and the contribution she wants to make in the world. I enjoy dancing in between these spaces- swirling, spinning, smiling.