Freshman year in college, I heard a knock on my dorm room door. I opened it to find Brian, a well-built senior, politely asking to borrow my lecture notes. We became fast friends. His birthday is two days after mine. That first year, I baked him a brownie cake in the dorm kitchen, decorated it with Betty Crocker frosting, and wrote his name with licorice rope.

After he graduated, he started a tradition. Every year on my birthday, he sends me a message asking questions about my year and includes his annual life update. I reply back two days later on his birthday. This year marked 25 years of this special tradition.

In trees, the patterns of wide or narrow rings reflect what the tree endured that year. Thinner rings signify a year of drought. Thicker rings indicate when rain was abundant and the tree was well-supported in its environment.

In our 25 years of annual updates, we have created our own mapping of tree rings. There have been years of hardship, relationship strain, job changes, and financial stress. And there have been years of flourishing, expansion, and growth. Our stories continue to unfold. Years when I thought my story was over, it was simply taking a sharp U-turn to redirect me to something better. Our annual messages illustrate that anything and everything worthwhile takes a long time. That life is never perfect, but sometimes it’s good enough, and that’ll do. That we need a bit of fire and water and stress, however uncomfortable, to deepen our roots and build strength and resilience.

The best friendships in life are those that have stood the test of time. That honor tradition despite drought, fire, and adequate rain. That encourage you to keep growing and reaching for the sun. That perhaps started with a simple knock on a dorm room door.