Finding Purpose in Your Pain

Last week, my friend and I were talking about being refined by fire. Some of the most heart-wrenching experiences in life have gifted us with the greatest lessons. Anyone who's felt loss or pain has a greater appreciation and empathy and knowingness that resulted from those times.

Climb on...  (Mines Road, Livermore)

If you asked them, most would willingly walk through that fire again because it made them who they are today. Out of all the various friendships in my life, these individuals are the most beautiful humans. They have found purpose in their pain. They now seek out opportunities to guide someone else climbing those same hills, wondering when it's going to end, curious what's around the bend, anxious for a respite. They are a trusted authority because they have lived that same story. Advice is real, raw, and true from these people.

My friend describes the depth of pain from her divorce as "enough for ten women's lifetimes." She is intentional about using her past pain for a bigger, greater purpose. Hurting people seek her out. She is the one they call when they're suicidal and can't fathom living another day. She speaks life and hope back into them, and gets them climbing again. 

Even if there was once shame in our stories, there is so much power in sharing them with those who can benefit from our journeys. By deciding to do this, we are harnessing the stronghold they once had on us, and using that power now for good. There is always purpose in our pain, and it's up to us to find it. Lives may depend on it.

PRESSED!

I love surprise packages. These arrived today in the mail, and the timing couldn't have been better. I wasn't feeling in the mood to go grocery shopping after a long drive back from San Diego yesterday, so enjoying one of these bars was the perfect real-food snack after my morning swim.

My favorite? Cherry apple chia...

KIND bar has done it again, this time with only fruit, veggies, and chia in their all-new PRESSED by KIND bar. It's nutrition made simple. No preservatives, non-GMO, gluten-free, vegan, no added sugar, and all that jazz. Basically how real food is supposed to be.

Whether or not you're pressed for time, these bars make the perfect snack. Stash them in your car, your office drawer, your workout bag or in your purse, and I promise you'll never be hangry again.

REVITALIZE Dinner: Summer Edition!

Folks, it's that time again... We have a few more spots left for our 5-course plant-based dinner on Saturday, August 20th. Enjoy delicious, local, organic summer produce picked at its peak and prepared in a creative and vibrant way. Hope you pull up a seat with us. We'd love to have you join us!  More info HERE

***Update*** We are now at full capacity for this event, but keep your eyes out for future retreats/event dinners! 

Space That Matters.

You never know how much space you occupy in another person's life. I'll never forget the conversations over coffee that shifted my attitude and perspective in a positive way. The handwritten letter mailed to me during my freshman year of college that I have folded in my drawer with simple, beautiful words of truth that I still pull out from time to time. The afternoon my friend made homemade soup for me but I was too sad to eat, so we just sat together, and that in itself nourished and warmed my soul. I don't think these people even remember these things- to them it was just coffee, or scribbling out a letter, or making lunch. Kindness naturally flows through their veins.

I've been changed by this. I realize the power of our words and the importance of our time. And how seemingly small things to us can make a big difference to someone else. The space we occupy in other people's lives, and the space they have in ours- Love exists there.

Your Trail.

If you were lucky enough to have a trail named after you, what message would you convey through the terrain? Mine would begin deep in the forest, to give what every human spirit yearns for- to be absorbed and enveloped inside a beautiful living thing.

Ewoldsen Trail, Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park

It would climb up steep switchbacks, and the top would have sweeping views that overlooked the fog. A reminder that clarity exists above the muck and confusion.

It would curve along the coastline with the vast ocean below because to feel small, but somehow significant, is one of the most honest expressions of truth. Mine would tell a story. In every language. Without any words.

McWay Falls, Big Sur

Ewoldsen Trail captured this story perfectly. 

Lighten the Load.

Coastal Trail, Marin Headlands

The fog was thick this morning, but I could still see a man's silhouette standing at the edge of a distant mountain. I stopped running and watched him, my breath still heavy. I saw his arm swing back, then in a powerful fit, hurl something into the abyss of the ocean. He reached down. And once again, as though trying to throw farther than before, he twisted his body and forcefully launched an object out from the cliff as the grey waves below swallowed it up. I stood and watched him for awhile until he was finished and turned back up the path.

This image burned in my mind the whole day. How we no longer have to carry unnecessary weight and burdens. We can remove the heavy stones from our 'packs' that we've accumulated through the years- the debris and weight we've dragged along with us from broken relationships, unkept promises, shame, guilt- and release them. Hurl them wildly away from us, out of our possession, and surrender them into something wider, deeper, vaster.

"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken." 

Psalm 55:22

And then, with lightness in our steps, we can finally be free. Free from our shackled past. Free to gather only what we need and continue on our journey. Free to fully become who we were created to be.

In This Moment.

There is a moment, a cusp, when the sum of gathered experience is worn down by the details of living. We are never so wise as we are when we live in this moment.
— Paul Kalanithi, When Breath Becomes Air

Morning Sun Trail, Marin Headlands

Last week I finished reading the book "When Breath Becomes Air." It's one of those books that I knew I wanted to buy- just so I could freely underline Paul Kalanithi's poetic and lyrical style of writing and have it at my fingertips for the moments when that dulled sense of perspective comes over my life.  To remind me again of how keeping our own mortality/death in the forefront helps us live more consciously and purposefully.

It changed me. And I think it will change you too.

Memory.

Wine Country Century 2016, Sonoma County

Wine Country Century 2016, Sonoma County

Have you ever smelled the perfume or cologne of someone you once loved and suddenly you're transported back into time? Your pulse quickens. The same visceral feelings flood back through your veins. You hear the sound of their laugh, fondly remember the way their eyes crinkled, and how safe you felt in their embrace? Scent locks in memories like a treasure chest.

In biking, certain roads hold that same power. It's all etched in stone, and once my wheels roll over that part of the road, it unlocks specific conversations I had, or how I felt mentally years ago racing that same section. Riding up Chalk Hill yesterday, it was only the sound of gears turning over and heaving breathing. But I swear I could hear cowbells and loud cheering and people screaming from the sidelines- You're almost at the top! Keep going! Don't quit! 

Memory baffles me at times. How quickly it can be erased. How quickly it returns with the smallest trigger, or on the slightest of whims.