I’m an introvert. Perhaps a borderline ambivert. Here’s a tip for anyone out there like me, or anyone with people pleasing tendencies.
When you’re invited to an outing, a party, a dinner, a celebration, an event, a speaking gig, or anything that requires more extroverted energy output than you’d prefer, pretend like it’s happening tonight.
Do you have the emotional and physical energy to attend? Especially after a long day of work, or writing or meetings?
This has saved me numerous times. In the moment, I’m tempted to reply, “YES! I’d LOVE to! Can’t wait!” even though deep, deep inside I’m fully aware that when that day rolls around, I’ll be kicking myself for agreeing to something I don’t actually want to attend.
So I started pretending the invitation is for tonight instead.
It’s a very clear “HELL YES!” as well as “HELL NO” when I started experimenting with this. It was a powerful filter for the people and invitations I was clearly excited about versus merely agreeing to because I wanted to be nice.
Time is finite. It is arguably our most valuable resource.
By using this technique, I’ve gained my time back. Instead of spending three hours attending a dinner event I’m feeling ambivalent about, or attending a happy hour function small-talking with people I most likely won’t interact with again, I’m spending it with individuals and celebrations that light me up and energize me. Or spending it on getting extra rest or working on projects that me feel awake and alive.
So the next time you’re invited out, pretend it’s tonight.
Then act accordingly.