I spent the past nine years in a loveless relationship with Mr. H. Now don't get me wrong- H was dependable, trustworthy; the one you'd want to bring home to meet your folks at Christmas. They would approve of his no-frills, humble appearance; breathing a sigh of relief that there was nothing too loud or obnoxious about him. Practicality on a plate. Serving me selflessly for years.
We took road trips from the coast to the snow-capped mountains, sand and sweat-filled memories logged in our memory bank. He came to all of my races, rain or shine. We spent chill mornings together listening to Howard Stern and eating oatmeal. We sang together at the top of our lungs and laughed and shared deep conversations in the wee hours of the night.
He was reliable and responsible, but I secretly wanted him to be more cutting edge, sophisticated, risk-taking. And so we'd show up at places together, conservative and happy, but knowing deep down we were both in a passionless relationship. I ignored it because I thought H was my future.
And that's when things started to get bumpy. Nothing felt as smooth or effortless as it once had way back when. We thought we could fix it- fix us… And so we sought professional help. We spent money. And we spent time. And even though he always said he was about reliability and spoke of our future together, I began to question him. It felt like superficial bullshit. Eventually, things soured.
And that's when M first caught my eye. M was sleek and sexy and confident and wildly charismatic. My heart would race and my cheeks would flush every time I would catch a glimpse of him. I had to have him. I craved him, like a drug. Late at night, I'd find myself googling him, staring at his pictures- the light of my computer screen illuminating my lustful eyes. And the first time with M? Amazing. Toe-curling. He was exciting and new and effortlessly fed my adrenaline-hungry body. He was everything that I had imagined. I wanted to bury my nose in him and inhale his scent deeply and caress him. He was addictive. Where H had left off, M took over, paying such careful attention to the small details- he cared about how my music sounded, the temperature of my body, my safety, my happiness.
And so yesterday, I made a big decision. I chose M. And I'm all in, baby.
Excited for our adventures that await.
We took road trips from the coast to the snow-capped mountains, sand and sweat-filled memories logged in our memory bank. He came to all of my races, rain or shine. We spent chill mornings together listening to Howard Stern and eating oatmeal. We sang together at the top of our lungs and laughed and shared deep conversations in the wee hours of the night.
He was reliable and responsible, but I secretly wanted him to be more cutting edge, sophisticated, risk-taking. And so we'd show up at places together, conservative and happy, but knowing deep down we were both in a passionless relationship. I ignored it because I thought H was my future.
And that's when things started to get bumpy. Nothing felt as smooth or effortless as it once had way back when. We thought we could fix it- fix us… And so we sought professional help. We spent money. And we spent time. And even though he always said he was about reliability and spoke of our future together, I began to question him. It felt like superficial bullshit. Eventually, things soured.
And that's when M first caught my eye. M was sleek and sexy and confident and wildly charismatic. My heart would race and my cheeks would flush every time I would catch a glimpse of him. I had to have him. I craved him, like a drug. Late at night, I'd find myself googling him, staring at his pictures- the light of my computer screen illuminating my lustful eyes. And the first time with M? Amazing. Toe-curling. He was exciting and new and effortlessly fed my adrenaline-hungry body. He was everything that I had imagined. I wanted to bury my nose in him and inhale his scent deeply and caress him. He was addictive. Where H had left off, M took over, paying such careful attention to the small details- he cared about how my music sounded, the temperature of my body, my safety, my happiness.
And so yesterday, I made a big decision. I chose M. And I'm all in, baby.
Excited for our adventures that await.
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| Goodbye Honda, hello Mazda3. (oh, and hello, Garmin Vivofit!) |