Love After Love.

“The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life. ”
— Derek Walcott

Epic Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies

If you search the internet, there are a dozen recipes called "The BEST Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies." So that's why I renamed mine to be "EPIC." Now they stand out from the rest. And yes, they are epic.

INGREDIENTS:

  • 1/2 c. organic coconut oil
  • 1 c. brown sugar (or coconut sugar)
  • 1/4 c. almond milk
  • 1 Tbsp. organic vanilla extract
  • 2 c. all-purpose flour
  • 1 tsp. baking soda
  • 1 tsp. baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp. salt
  • 10 oz. (1 bag) vegan chocolate chips (I used Enjoy Life brand)

DIRECTIONS:

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
  2. Cream the coconut oil and sugar together until well-blended. Add the almond milk and vanilla and mix well.
  3. In a separate bowl, mix together the flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt.
  4. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients until combined. Fold in the chocolate chips.
  5. Drop dough into rounded tablespoons 2 inches apart onto the baking sheet or parchment paper.
  6. Bake for 10 minutes or until edges are light brown. Cool one minute on cookie sheets, then transfer to a cooling rack. Sprinkle with sea salt crystals if desired. ENJOY!

Live the Questions.

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer. ”
— Rainer Maria Rilke

I'm Baaaaack!

Four years ago, I suffered a severe foot injury while training for Ironman Lake Tahoe which left me in a walking boot for 8 weeks, and unable to run for almost 2 years. It has been a slow crawl back to being able to train without pain. Lots of water running, going through lots of Hoka shoes (the only shoes that minimized the arch pain), and only running on soft trails. This past Sunday, I raced my first triathlon since 2013. For me, it was a pure celebration of the body's ability to come back after a debilitating injury. I raced without a Garmin to take the pressure off of myself. My only goal was to enjoy the run, experience gratitude for the steps leading up to this day, and to celebrate my body.

I had a blast. And now, it's time to really hunker down and train. Come June 25th, I'm wearing my Garmin.

If you'd like to register for a USAP event, use my code : JKUSAP at checkout and save 15%. I'd love to see you out on the race course with me!

Roasted Curried Chickpeas with Rosemary and Thyme

Whenever I crave something salty, I turn to roasted chickpeas. They're quick and easy to make and satisfy my need for something crunchy and delicious. Since they're full of protein and fiber, roasted chickpeas are a healthier alternative to chips and pretzels!

INGREDIENTS:
2 15-ounce cans chickpeas, rinsed, drained and dried well (I use a salad spinner to easily remove excess liquid)
3 tablespoons olive oil
2 teaspoons paprika
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon curry powder
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1 tablespoon freshly-grated lemon zest
1 teaspoon fresh rosemary, chopped
1 teaspoon fresh thyme, chopped

DIRECTIONS:
1. Preheat the oven to 425°F.

2. Pour well-dried chickpeas onto a rimmed baking sheet and roast for 10 minutes. Turn the chickpeas with a spatula and return to the oven. Roast for another 10 minutes, or until they begin to get crispy. 

3. While the chickpeas are roasting, combine the olive oil, paprika, cumin, curry powder, salt, lemon zest, rosemary and thyme in a medium mixing bowl. Transfer the roasted chickpeas to the bowl and carefully toss them in the mixture until well coated. Return to the baking sheet and roast for another 4-5 minutes.

4. Allow the roasted chickpeas to cool for 2-3 minutes and serve warm. Enjoy!

For this recipe, I used fresh rosemary from my friend's garden. She spoke about how her backyard garden has been her biggest teacher since immigrating to the United States. It was in her garden where she learned how to approach life with a gentle acceptance. Caring for a garden showed her the importance of cultivating patience, tending and watering something even before it sprouts, and having faith that tiny seeds can create a bountiful harvest.

Beautiful life lessons. As I made this recipe, I reflected on these simple and gentle truths. The foods and ingredients we use can teach us so much if we take the time to listen and pay attention.

Saying YES.

 I have this 'idea' notebook that I started last year while I was still working at the hospital. Some days I'd sit alone at lunch and write down all my ideas for what I envisioned my business to look like, the creative projects I wanted to start, and everything else that I desired for my life. It kept me in a hopeful state. One time, my friend came up to me in the cafeteria and asked me what I was intensely working on. "I'm planning out my life, " I simply said. It was true.

It's been three months since I've transitioned into my own private practice and stepped fully into my 'must.' Earlier this week, I flipped back to those pages I wrote while still working at the hospital. How phenomenal to see what has transpired from those first idea seeds written back in December, and how much progress and growth can happen intentionally within a short amount of time.

I encourage everyone to sit and write their ideas down. Big or small, it doesn't matter. Because when it's in black and white, in your own handwriting, it's very hard to ignore. You'll be surprised at how cultivating those first idea seeds can blossom with a little water and intention, taking you down interesting and pleasantly unexpected paths.

AND YET.

There is another notion of being pregnant with emptiness. Being completely open and surrendering to the grandioseness of the Universe, of God, and how even our 'big dreams' pale in comparison to the greatness that we are meant for. This idea of allowing and trusting while still 'doing work' but remaining an open conduit for a future that is incomprehensible to us.

I've been holding these two ideas in my head. This push-pull between consciously going after our big dreams and also remaining open to serendipity.

This month, I wanted to explore. To say YES to opportunities, networking events, personal meetings, outdoor excursions, documentary films, and art gallery trips that would allow me to see the world in a new and unique way. To say YES to things that would shift my perspective, provide me with a sense of awe, introduce me to the world of design thinking and self-publishing and all the ways I still want to contribute to the world.

I had the opportunity to share the importance of following our 'must' and living a life of joy at Women Catalyst's May Lightening Talks.

Inspired by the art at Berkeley Art Museum and Pacific Film Archive.

Honored to be selected for "Represent" where we saw the world premiere preview screening of Monsoon Wedding. Highly recommend!!

Explored the gorgeous trails at Jedidiah Smith Redwoods State Park.

I still scribble down all my big and small ideas for what I want to accomplish for the upcoming week. But now, I'm learning to leave a lot of blank space because I know those bigger miracles and opportunities will fill up those lines, and eventually, my life.

Simple Truths.

Jedidiah Smith Redwoods State Park

“When I am among the trees,
especially the willows and the honey locust,
equally the beech, the oaks, and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness.

I would almost say that they save me, and daily.
I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I have goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
but walk slowly, and bow often.
Around me the trees stir in their leaves
and call out, “Stay awhile.”

The light flows from their branches.
And they call again, “It’s simple,”
they say, “and you, too, have come
into the world to do this, to go easy,
to be filled with light, and to shine.”
— Mary Oliver, "When I Am Among Trees"

Filling the Well.

In order to eat healthy, we know it's important to restock our refrigerator with fresh produce on a regular basis. As creatives (we're all creatives, btw), it's equally important to fill our creative well. For some, this may mean gathering more clay or paints or other things to play with. It may mean building up a visual or photographic library to generate more ideas. But for me, it's always been taking deliberate time out in nature. Walking underneath a canopy of Redwoods as the rain gently falls on my face, smelling fresh air, and exploring new trails recalibrates my senses, recharges my soul, and recenters me.

Damnation Creek Trail, Del Norte Coast Redwoods State Park

“Fresh beauty opens one’s eyes wherever it is really seen, but the very abundance and completeness of the common beauty that besets our steps prevents its being absorbed and appreciated. It is a good thing, therefore, to make short excursions now and then to the bottom of the sea among dulse and coral, or up among the clouds on mountain-tops, or in balloons, or even to creep like worms into dark holes and caverns underground, not only to learn something of what is going on in those out-of-the-way places, but to see better what the sun sees on our return to common everyday beauty.”
— John Muir

Unfurling ferns. A subtle reminder that we are all still becoming, unfolding, and opening up into our fully-expressed selves. 

Little reminder from nature, sprinkled all along the trail. You are loved.

What are some ways this week that you can fill your own creative well?

Acting as Channels.

Butano State Park

“Standing at his appointed place, at the trunk of the tree, he does nothing other than gather and pass on what comes to him from the depths. He neither serves nor rules- he transmits. His position is humble. And the beauty at the crown is not his own. He is merely a channel.”
— Paul Klee

Today is Day 28 in #the100dayproject. For those of you who are just joining in now, I'm pairing pieces of my journal entries from the past few years with watercolors that I'm creating daily. Around Day 19, I began to feel overwhelmed with my project and felt like I needed to constantly raise the bar on myself and my art. So much that I began to feel paralyzed in creating. So last week, I made the intention to simplify, to loosen up, to give myself some freedom in my watercolors. I did more abstract pieces, paintings that felt more like 'play.' I used my fingers to smear the watercolors, I blended paints together and watched how they bled into each other when I added more water. I took more creative risks because I released myself from any rules I had created for myself before. Without rules, there's freedom. 

Day 20: "Why do certain people come into our lives with such a seamless ebb and flow? Why do I so easily allow them back into my life? Should I develop a thicker membrane?" (Oct. '16)

Day 24: "It was October. The earth heaved heavy sighs. Bridges collapsed. Power lines fell. We took the side streets all the way home. You were there waiting for us, but I pushed past you, sprinting up the stairs screaming, "Are my fish ok?!?" Years later, my world would shake and things would fall and break. And after the quake I would run Home. Only this time, I wouldn't pass you. I would run to you." ("1989", a poem written for my father. Dec '15)

Day 25: "It feels scary. Terrifying, actually. But that means I'm finally entering into a place of myself that's real, that's raw, that's human." (Nov. '15)

Day 26: "There's no reason to feel stuck. New ideas are like sunrise. They're always there, everyday. I just have to wake up, know which direction to look, and notice them." (Feb. '17)

This week by embracing the abstract, I began to see how I was merely a channel. A circuit for a larger force that was flowing through me. What are some ways you can loosen up and let go of judgement, and allow yourself to be a conduit of something Greater this week?