What If?

“There’s so much more that I still want to do. I bought a golf set at Costco last week because it was 50% off. Do you golf?”

She paused. I lifted my pen from the spiral notebook I’d been furiously jotting notes on and caught my breath. She’d been free-flowing her Wellness Vision to me for the past minute, and I’d done my best to capture the essence of what she was envisioning. Strength training because I do Zumba five days a week and I think I should start resistance training. Clearing out all of this clutter in my space. Feeling more ease. Simplicity. Spaciousness. My husband’s been gone 7 years, and it’s like there’s an entire part of myself that is finally waking up and coming alive.

Out of the hundreds of clients I’ve supported over the years, I’ve never met anyone more enthusiastic to create her Wellness Vision.

She’s 82.

And yet she sees an entire life still ahead of her, with experiences yet to create.

Below is the spoken word poem I wrote to conclude my keynote for the "Reinventing Aging After 50: Age Your Way" Conference. I invite you to challenge preconceived notions of aging and instead ask yourself "What if?"

First, create a new framework of possibility. And then bravely live into it.

What if Laura Ingles Wilder, who still wasn’t published at the age of 62

surrendered to writer’s block and chose something easier to do?

What if Ginette Bedard never started running at 69?

What if she resorted to eating Bonbons in a chair reclined,

Reading trashy magazines and sipping wine-

She’d never know the thrill of crossing a finish line.

She refused to believe her body was done

And completed her 12th consecutive NYC marathon 

at the remarkable age of 81.

What if Colonel Sanders was a driver for DoorDash?

Instead of recipe testing, he wanted quick cash

He was in his 60s! He could’ve said with a sigh, “If Church can make chicken, then shoot, why should I?”

But he believed in his vision, all his skills he applied

And that’s why today we have Kentucky Fried.

 

What if the story you’ve told yourself about aging isn’t true?

What if there’s so much more that’s left for you to do?

Instead of worrying about how many years ‘til we die,

What if we wondered how to maximize the years we’re alive?

There are still experiences to enjoy and memories to make,

There are books to be written and art to create.

There are friends to support and wisdom to share,

There are stories to tell to people who care.

Your body may move differently than it did before

it takes a little while longer to pick up something off the floor

and sometimes you forget the keys in the door

and your memory may not be as sharp as before.

But one thing’s the same- you!

You are still you! Right down to your core.

Every one of you is a marketing scout

Who has the power to transform what aging is about

It begins with your vision of what you want to create

So go live, and report back, “Glorious opportunities await!”

Strength Matters.

CASHEW see how strength matters more than weight alone? Instead of focusing on getting smaller, focus on getting stronger for overall physical and mental well-being. This mindset shift radically transformed my relationship with my body.

If you tend to fixate on numbers (namely what the scale says), shift your attention to other numbers- how much weight you can lift, squat, pull, and press. With more muscle, you’ll improve metabolism, insulin sensitivity, longevity, and healthspan. So get after it! 💪🏼🏋🏻‍♀️

Creativity Within Constraints.

Constraints remind us of the preciousness of what we have. With too much time, too many ideas, and an unlimited amount of materials, we can become paralyzed, lazy, and drown in decision fatigue. Limitations create value. They challenge us to make more intentional decisions and work with less. Constraints give us a sandbox where we can play and utilize everything we have to create something new. Remarkable art has been created with limitations. Beethoven composed some of the best masterpieces without his ability to hear. Grant Achatz, the famous chef of the Chicago restaurant Alinia, cooked many of his dishes without the ability to taste after he was diagnosed with tongue cancer.

Some people, however, use limitations as excuses.

I don’t have enough time. I have a bad knee and crippling arthritis. I have three kids under the age of 10 and I’m a single mom working full-time. I’m losing my vision. I’m past my prime. I’ve been rejected by 30 publishers already.

Others use constraints as a playground for creativity.

Limitations are a necessary partner in the creative act as well as in the crafting of a successful life.
— Anne Bogart

Below was my exploration of this in real-time, using only two different flower types and a 45-minute time limit.

Honoring the Four Directions.

Spread love and share your gifts.

Expand beyond your comfort zone and dance along the edges.

Instead of allowing the constraints and limitations in your life to stifle your creativity, how can you learn to create from them?

Finding Center.

“I saw that everything, all paths I had been following, all steps I had taken, were leading back to a single point - namely, to the mid-point. It became increasingly plain to me that the mandala is the center. It is the exponent of all paths. It is the path to the center, to individuation.” -Carl Jung

My Returning to the Center altar, created in my Morning Altars Teachers Training course.

The times in my life when I’ve felt numb, isolated, and lost were the moments when I was disconnected from my center for an extended amount of time. Finding my way back to my center returned me to a place of balance, order, and rhythm. But it’s not about remaining there. Life is a continual dance between departing and returning.

In creating this piece, I noticed how it’s the rippling out from the center that creates the patterns and ultimately, beauty. The maroon mums near the edges of the circle signify a return to the center in an expanded way. It’s not about always staying in the center and not leaving. It’s about departing, expanding, and then finding center again.

What represents the ‘center’ in your life?

What does it mean to let something emerge from your inspiration and ripple out, without losing the heart- the center- of who you are in the process?

Pay Attention.

Running through Godrays at Purisma Creek Redwoods Open Space Preserve.

Pay attention to…
The way their eyes light up when they see you. Your intuition. Synchronicities. What you’re doing when it feels easy. What you’re doing when time flies by. Your self-talk. The things you choose to self-soothe. Who you text back immediately. Who you wait more than a day to reply back to. How your body opens up and expands when it’s a wholehearted “YES.” Moments it contracts when something feels off. What turns you on. What frustrates you. When you feel most like yourself. Who you want to spend your lunch with. How much energy and space you regained once you established boundaries. Who still reaches out even when you’ve made your boundaries clear. Books you want to reread. Quotes that resonate with you. Where your mind wanders. The smile you hear in their voice when they answer the phone. What you still want to learn. Godrays. The freedom children have when they play and make art. Soul-replenishers. The beautiful, fleeting moments that take you by surprise. Your breath. Your heartbeat. How there is only one of you in the entire world.

Slow Down.

Last week at the gym, I was finishing a set on the seated back pull machine. I had just lifted 135 lbs on each side, and triumphantly received a nod of approval from a fellow lifter. As I was cleaning off my weights, I noticed a bodybuilder looking over.

“Mind if I show you something?” he asked. I smiled. “Sure.” He pulled out his phone and showed me a video of a professional bodybuilder doing the same exercise I’d finished, with only one 45-lb weight on each side. “Try it with less weight, but go a lot slower on the eccentric and concentric phases of the exercise. Focus on the mind-muscle connection.”

This week, I’ve adopted that principle. I’ve dropped the weights down and increased the time under tension while focusing on the mind-muscle connection. It’s the first time in awhile I’ve felt sore the next day.

When we slow down, we pay better attention. We’re more engaged and present.

Try it. Slow down. In your conversations, in your interactions, while emailing, when you drive, and when you eat. Notice the difference.

Abundance and Expansion.

Created on the trails at Grabtown Gulch.

2+0+2+4= 8. I created this altar today with the number 8 in mind, symbolizing abundance and expansion. At first I gathered small fern and nettle leaves, their soft fuzzy exteriors still damp with morning dew. I laid them down in a small circle, their leaves shaped like hearts facing outwards into the world. As I continued to forage, I discovered larger nettle hidden behind a robust patch of giant ferns. I added those to the initial circle, noticing how the design physically and metaphorically represented this theme of abundance and expansion. May we all embody this in our own lives. A ripple effect outwards of more love, kindness, and generosity that we can practice in 2024.

December In a Nutshell.

December was a whirlwind filled with SO.MUCH.JOY.

Hundreds of my books arrived in one huge shipment on a Thursday in early December, and I spent the evening signing each one with a personalized message. Gratitude filled my heart as I wrote messages to old friends from college, triathlon, co-workers, clients, and friends from different areas of life who have supported me through the years. This was my favorite part of this entire book journey.

A friend visited from Nevada and she gifted me a feather from a Great Horned Owl because this animal holds so much spiritual significance for me. Synchronistically, she gave this to me on the very same day that I had the privilege of being in the same room as a Great Horned Owl. Look at his intense, focused stare!

I hiked new trails in Folsom with an old friend, and was gifted Godrays in Woodside during a misty morning run. The mushrooms were abundant in Santa Cruz, and nature generously provided supplies to create Morning Altars with.

This month, I felt overwhelming support from family and friends. It’s been said that there are years that ask the questions, and years that answer.

This year, I finally received my answer, and I am smiling ear to ear.