It's Not About the Lululemon.

So yesterday, this happened...

Proof that I don't ride my bike EVERY Saturday...

Enjoyed this view from the garden of Station House Cafe while sipping on our morning lattes.

Admired some beautiful flowers in the community garden just behind the farmers market...

Practicing with the sounds of birds and children playing outside... (I'm in the turquoise tank in the back left)

I am hyperaware of my right leg, unsteady and fighting for balance as I grasp my left knee and twist to face the left wall. My whole body is tense, as to not create any additional movement that can potentially cause me to tumble. 

Out of the corner of the room, I hear the instructor's sweet voice- Why do we practice yoga? Because it shows us that we can be in awkward or difficult positions, and if we simply return back to the breath and breathe through it, it'll all be ok. 

This definitely feels awkward. And difficult. I realize that I am holding my breath.

Breathe, what? Hold for five more counts...are you kidding me?!? 

I relax and start to breathe, and suddenly, it feels easier. This, my friends, is yoga. I am learning this. It is about gently quieting the mental chatter, returning to the breath, becoming aware of your body, then softening and lengthening and allowing grace to enter.

Perth Trail, Inverness

It is now two hours into our hike. The sun is peeking in between the trees and we are walking the same trails, but this time, in reverse. We are lost, meandering, finding a new trail, only to hike up one mile and see the lead hiker turn around and motion for us to turn back around. My right foot is throbbing and I tentatively place it over rocks and branches, shifting the pressure to my left foot. I ignore the pain and take another sip of water and wipe the sweat from my face.

The view overlooking Limatour Beach, right before turning back around.

I see and notice things along the trail- the purple wildflowers, the cushiony feel of pine needles underneath my feet, the curvature of the red Madrone branches- but I am not enjoying or cherishing them; I am using them as mental landmarks and trying to remember how far into the hike we are backtracking.

I recognize it again. The same clenching, the same tightness, the same constricting, the same insecurity. Except this time, I am off the yoga mat. 

Please don't make us descend back into the overgrown single track trail with poison ivy and ferns and prickly brambles. My ankles are already scratched and raw and irritated from clearing the brush with each painful step. 

I forgot to bring my machete...

To my dismay, I see the rest of the hikers in front of me make their way down that horrendous trail. It is my worst nightmare. I start down that dreaded part of the trail, and then I realized- this is yoga. 

This is uncomfortable and difficult and my mind is panicking and I am forgetting to breathe. This is my practice- to allow, to breathe through it, to realize its impermanence, to be present with each step, to be aware of my thoughts but not become them. And so I pay attention to my inhales and my exhales, the placement of the feet, and the hiker in front of me. I refuse to allow negativity and fear behave like the overgrown poison ivy and irritating brush. 

Yoga teaches us that we can choose how we react, that we can learn how to breathe through uncomfortable moments, that we can acknowledge that we have a choice whether we freak out or let the anxiety pass. That in each second, each minute, we have a choice.

To breathe.

To exhale.

To soften.

To release.

To offer up.

To open up.

To let it go.

Three hours later as we arrived back safely to our cars, I realized that I just did some real yoga on the trails. I'm thankful for all of the teachers in my life. Yesterday, I added yoga to that list (and I hope you will, too).

A delicious ending to a very fun-filled day with amazing company...

Brings Life To A Field

Matt Davis Trail, Mt. Tam

“It is not possible to complete yourself
without sorrow.

Sorrow is a vital ingredient that shapes
the heart and enriches it.

So endure sadness the best you can
when its season comes.

That rain that can fall from your eye
brings life to a field,

And on other days when you laugh,
a sun takes birth in a sky you will
someday know.

See how all the elements are inside of
you.

See how your soul is a sire of light. ”

— Hafiz

Flow States and Kelp Noodles...

The benefit of having a 7am roll-time start on a holiday is that there are absolutely no cars on the road... (Photo cred: A. Daluyaya)

Have you heard of flow states? It turns out that people who experience more 'flow' in their lives are more creative, more productive, and live more meaningful lives. The way we enter into 'flow' is unique for each individual...some people are able to enter flow states during intense physical activity or extreme sports, while others need introspective times of stillness, preferably surrounded by nature. If you are as obsessed about this as I am, read more about entering your own flow states here. One of the ways I enter flow is by riding my bike. I do my best thinking, mental processing and creation of ideas on two wheels. I think clearing out the lungs and clearing out the lactic acid in the legs also helps to clear my mind. 

Kelp noodles with broccoli, shiitake mushrooms, tofu, edamame and cilantro with a miso ginger tamari dressing. #vegan #glutenfree

Another way that I enter flow is by experimenting in the kitchen. Trying new recipes and branching out of my comfort zone is no longer stressful; I view it now as exciting. Time stands still, I feel like all of my good intentions are going into this new dish, and I'm always so pleasantly surprised. Tonight, I experimented with kelp noodles! Check out the full recipe for the Asian Veggie Noodle Bowl here.

My new mantra... #PlayHardDazzleOften

Kelp noodles are gluten-free, low in calories, and contain calcium and iodine. They come ready-to-eat and do not need to be cooked (leaving more time to lay out by the pool) and best of all, they are delicious. You can find kelp noodles online at Thrive Market or Vitacost.com. Let me know what recipes you come up with using kelp noodles, or what activities help you reach your own flow state...and Happy 4th!

Red Chard Wraps.

“How could there be a day in your whole life that doesn’t have its splash of happiness?”

— Mary Oliver, House of Light

Today's splash of happiness....Red chard wraps filled with hummus, carrots, red cabbage, tofu, avocado and sprouted mung beans. #plantpowered #eattherainbow

Stuck On the Side of the Road.

“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. ”

— Maya Angelou

I'd like to add another to this list- getting two flat tires within the span of three miles. There's something very humbling about being stuck on the side of the road with everything that you need (extra tube, CO2 cartridge, tire levers) except for the CO2 adaptor. It must have fallen out during an earlier ride, and I had never even noticed that it was missing from my bag. After an SOS call went out, Tony arrived promptly with minutes- with a bike pump, an extra tube, CO2 cartridge, an adaptor valve, and his trademark smile. My faith in humanity has been restored. There are some people out there who will literally drop everything at a moment's notice and come to our rescue. May good karma follow that man always.

There are plenty of times in life when I feel like I'm prepared and I have everything- that my emergency flat tire kit is all complete except for that one thing. Turns out that without that one thing, nothing else can happen. Everything else in life just falls flat (no pun intended).

And that's where friends come in. They show up when we're stranded on the side of the road with that missing piece- sometimes it's encouragement, sometimes it's 'tough love' advice, but that missing piece is what sets us in motion again in the right direction.

I am definitely a work in progress. I'm always learning. Tonight's dinner meal is proof that progress (albeit slow) can always happen. With a little culinary inspiration from PK, I was able to experiment and try new flavor combinations and colors and textures. This is coming from a girl who used to microwave veggie burgers and call that dinner. So if I can slowly emerge from my culinary shell, all hope is not lost.

Roasted pumpkin squash, fennel, brussels sprouts, blood oranges and hazelnuts mixed over a bed of arugula.

We are all works in progress and we desperately need each other, no matter how hard we try to be independent and self-sufficient. I'm learning this on the bike, in the kitchen, in my workplace, in my relationships. There is wisdom and beauty in this truth. Trust it. 

And if you ever find yourself stranded on the side of the road, call me. I'll even bring you a cold drink.

Facebook As the Fork.

(Note: Usually I use images to supplement my writing, but on rare occasions, I find inspiration from an image and start writing from that place. What follows has been inspired by the picture below, captured by a truly talented and creative friend, Brad).

               (Photo: Brad Rank)

Have you ever assumed that a friendship has played its course? That enough time has passed that it feels as though too much time has gone by- that it's too late to rekindle a childhood friendship that was filled with endless boardgames of Sorry, Sanrio stationary and sharing plates of greasy fries on Saturday nights? I certainly did.

So imagine my surprise when I received a personal message one sunny Thursday afternoon from an old friend. I was delighted. The world can indeed be impersonal and huge and lonely, yet the irony of social media is that it creates a falsely connected world. Even though we hadn't spoken in years, thanks to Facebook, in a weird, semi-creepy way, she knows what I ate for dinner last night. In her message, she was inquiring simply about nutrition. It could have thoroughly been answered in a written message, but to be quite honest, I missed her. She is thoughtful, grounded and authentic, so I took a chance and asked if she'd want to meet in person to talk about her nutrition questions and catch up.

Ascending back up Stream Trail...

We found ourselves a week later on the trails of Redwood Regional Park, making our way over tree branches peeking out from the dusty earth, winding our way deep into the forest canopy where the air gets cooler and the world seems quieter. There was a comfortable lull in the conversation, and then I heard her voice softly say- "I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you."

A lump developed in my throat. Her words hit home and struck me at my core. A wave of understanding flowed over me. I never once questioned the ebb and flow of friendships during the dark times in my life. To me, her path in life looked perfectly straight and narrow. My path, on the other hand, swerved sharply to the right, went directly off the cliff and headed straight into the water. Miraculously, we found ourselves together again. In life, we all try so hard to be good friends to each other, to be there for one another through thick and thin, but when sh*t happens, sometimes you just don't know what to say. We all have friends who suffer major losses, who get diagnosed with cancer, who miscarry, who go through heart-wrenching divorces. We all, at times, are at a loss for words, and we don't want to say the wrong things. So we end up saying nothing at all. And the distance grows ever so slightly, then progresses. Until one day, you look back, and you realize it's been a decade since you've last spoken to each other.

She's birthed two beautiful kids. I've had two broken engagements. And yet as different as our lives may appear on the outside, here we were, together again on the same trail- both inhaling the rich earth and bay laurel, admiring the sunlight peeking through the redwood trees, anticipating the uphill curve of the trail, putting one foot in front of the other. In a beautiful and miraculous way, our paths converged once again- a simple reminder of the timeless nature of how old friendships can separate and curve and come back together seamlessly. I saw our paths in life being more similar than different- two women, seeking to live a life of Purpose, to do good things in this world, wanting strong and healthy bodies, desiring to maintain balance between work, family and loved ones.

Just as old lovers are forever etched in our memories, some friendships are preserved there as well. And even a decade later, even though so much time has passed, we can open up to one another and find that tenderness and sweetness are still there- in fact, they were there all along.

The sun was setting as we parted ways that evening. As I waved from my Mazda3 with just enough room in the back to store a bike, she waved at me from her SUV with carseats in her backseats, and I felt a reunited connection with her that made me realize we were more alike than we were different.

I drove home down the windy streets, descending my way back into the city and thought about friendships. It's true- there are some friendships that are meant to be let go of, to be stored away in the boxes with the rest of the dusty prom pictures and binder paper love letters. But some are meant to be rekindled, revisited, reignited again.

It's really quite simple and beautiful when you allow yourself to reach out again. Perhaps it's time to contact that Facebook friend and reconnect face-to-face- the way you were when you considered yourselves to be 'real' friends. It will not disappoint you. In fact, it may be one of the most enriching experiences. We all go through changes and our paths separate. But despite our differences, there is true beauty and sacredness in the coming back together of it all. 

And that's something that I definitely and wholeheartedly "like."

#TBT

Found this gem in a stack of pictures that my grandma had saved, and thought I'd share it today in honor of Throwback Thursday...

It's clear that I was never a big fan of dairy and gluten. #whitetoast #wholemilk #notimpressed

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

“When we honestly confront the things we own, they evoke many emotions within us. Those feelings are real. It is these emotions that give us the energy for living. Believe what your heart tells you when you ask, ‘Does this spark joy?’ If you act on that intuition, you will be amazed at how things will begin to connect in your life and at the dramatic changes that follow. It is as if your life has been touched by magic. ”

— Marie Kondo

Tuesday night, cleaning my apartment. Three hours have passed, the sun has long since disappeared behind Dougherty Hills. I'm knee-deep in a pile of blouses, long-sleeved button-downs, old race t-shirts, tank tops and black Express pants. I'm touching each piece of clothing that has been hanging in my closet. I am holding and caressing each book on my bookshelf one at a time. I am opening drawers and pulling out old souvenirs from road trips and bike rides. I am feeling every item in my hand and asking a single question-

"Does this spark joy?"

In the process, I look up from my six garbage bags filled to the brim with items and clothes, and stand back, wiping my bangs out of my eyes with the back of my hand, and sigh. I feel this overwhelming sensation of freedom wash over me. Freedom from clutter- of things that no longer serve, that no longer spark joy.

If you haven't read this book, I highly recommend it. Rather than asking, "When's the last time I've worn this?", changing the question to a more intuitive one- "Does this spark joy?" makes the cleaning/clearing out process much more objective. Yes. Or no.

My living space is now in order. And it's funny, somehow I feel as though my life and my past are more in order, too. I only want to be surrounded by things I love, and things that spark joy. The same goes with the people in my life too.

Try it out for yourself. Gather your garbage bags, take a deep breath, and ask that one important question. Experience how this process of letting go changes the physical and emotional landscape of your life.

“But when we really delve into the reasons for why we can’t let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future. The question of what you want to own is actually the question of how you want to live your life.”

— Marie Kondo

After dropping off my bags at Goodwill, I felt this truth resonate in my heart-

Letting go is even more important than adding.

Simplicity = Joy.

Coconut-Lime Black Rice with Red Beans and Mango

“Life is so ridiculously gorgeous, strange, heartbreaking, horrific, etc., that we are compelled to describe it to ourselves, but we can’t. We cannot do it! And so we make art.”

— Miranda July

#eattherainbow #foodasart

Today I slept in. The original plan was to go for a bike ride, but after glancing outside and seeing the dark rain clouds, I welcomed the graceful inconvenience of having to stay inside and snuggle up and listen to the light drizzle of rain outside. I sipped on some ginger tea and felt the thirsty earth's gratitude for this little tease of nourishment from the sky. 

The rain has a way of making me feel more introspective. It's on the rainy days when I love wrapping myself in a warm blanket and burying myself in a good book, when I compose effortlessly on my keyboard, and when my writing feels more fluid and ideas come more easily. Rain = good art. Staying inside when it's raining always seems to spark my creativity and inspiration. Today, it resulted in a new recipe incorporating one of my favorite grains, forbidden black rice.

Ingredients:

-2 c. forbidden black rice

-1 c. organic coconut milk (full fat)

-2 1/2 c. vegetable broth

-1 can organic adzuki beans

-1 mango, diced

-juice from 2 limes

-1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper

-1 onion, diced

-1 Tbsp. organic ghee (clarified butter)

-1 tsp. freshly grated ginger

-chopped cilantro

Directions:

1. Heat the ghee over medium heat in a large pan. Add the diced onion and ginger and saute them until soft. Add the rice and keep stirring until the rice starts to slightly toast, about 2 minutes. 

2. Add the coconut milk, vegetable broth, cayenne pepper and bring to a simmer. Cover it and reduce the heat to low. Allow it to simmer until the rice is tender, around 40 minutes.

3. While the rice is cooking, chop up the mango into bite-size pieces.

4. When the rice is tender, fold in the beans, lime juice, and mango. Garnish with the chopped cilantro.

5. Enjoy!

Food is art. And if art is the manner in which we attach meaning and describe our lives, this recipe definitely captures the essence of it- colorful, savory, tangy, a little nutty, with just the right amount of sweetness mixed in. 

Stepping Forward With Faith.

“E.L Doctorow said once that ‘Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.’ You don’t have to see where you’re going, you don’t have to see your destination or everything you will pass along the way. You just have to see two or three feet ahead of you. This is right up there with the best advice on writing, or life, I have ever heard.”

— Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

Night riding near Cull Canyon...

The other day, I was sitting outside of a charming little cafe with a friend. In between sips of my almond milk latte, we spoke about how the course of our lives have changed so dramatically in just a few years. Mostly good changes, of course. Brilliant new business opportunities, new relationships, and more responsibilities on top of 'life' stuff- but all in all, we were following our passion. We laughed at how all of this could have never been predicted. Ever.

Everything started out by just having faith. Taking that first step and trusting that the stone would appear. It's all about being able to only see two or three feet in front of you, but still moving forward with trust and not caring too much about the scenery around you. Just focusing hard on that light which is only illuminating the next step. And the step after that.

And pretty soon, you're further down an incredible path that you never could have imagined. Whether it's in business, writing, or adopting a new eating plan, rather than getting overwhelmed with the final destination, it's all about blindly taking that step into the light just a few feet ahead. So say 'yes' to that opportunity that scares you. Write those three pages a day. Incorporate a green drink into your day. Even if you can't visualize the end result, move forward in faith. When the sun finally comes up, I guarantee that you'll be amazed at the roads you've traversed, and how you've arrived at a destination you could have never imagined, even in your wildest dreams.

Isn't Life Colorful?

“The preparation of good food is yet another expression of art, one of the joys of civilized living…”

— Dione Lucas

Some of the craziest work days result in my most artistic meals. It's like all of that energy needs to be channeled somewhere, and what better place than in the kitchen?

Roasted sweet potatoes, avocado, forbidden black rice, roasted chickpeas, carrots, roasted broccoli, red cabbage and hummus on a bed of organic arugula.