Progress Not Perfection.

I sit at my piano. The pads of my fingers rest on the ivories. I take a deep breath, and as I exhale, my fingers begin to play Mendelssohn's Rondo Capriccioso. My fingers fly across the keys, the muscle memory still so deeply ingrained in my hands. It has been 20 years since I've performed that piece on stage.  I spent hours and hours drilling these chord progressions and passages through rote memorization that they weaved their way into the very fabric of my being. Now I play these complicated passages of notes without even thinking. The music- it's just a part of me. 

Changing the way we eat is a similar process. It takes time. There are iterations and adjustments that have to be made. But after awhile, you find your momentum. You practice making the right decision. At first, it's really hard. It takes energy and work. But after awhile, you get the hang of it. You make the right food decisions more often, and pretty soon, healthy eating is just a part of you.

Today I received a review from my client who I'm so proud of. He is well on his way in this journey, and it's stories like his that make me so grateful to be doing the work that I do. 

If you're looking for some guidance and would like to partner with me on your journey to feeling healthier and stronger, I'd love to help you. I understand that it's about progress, not perfection. Along any journey, there are obstacles and detours, but it helps to have a guide who knows the way, who knows your goals and where you want to go, and who can steer you on the right path. And pretty soon you'll realize that making healthy food choices is just a part of you.  

5 Ways the #100DayProject Changed My Life (and Can Change Yours As Well)

I would've never imagined that making handmade cards for 100 days straight would teach me how to listen to my intuition, connect me with strangers from around the world, and give me the courage to leave my full-time job. And yet, when I trace the threads back to when this shift occurred in my life- when I realized that I no longer wanted to live a life misaligned with my sense of self- it all began on July 1, 2016. Otherwise known as Day 1.

The #100DayProject is described by Elle Luna as "a celebration of process that encourages everyone to participate in 100 days of making. The great surrender is the process; showing up day after day is the goal. For the 100-Day Project, it's not about fetishizing finished products- it's all about the process."

I first heard about the project last June at a time in my life when I felt stagnant and uninspired. I wasn't exactly unhappy, but there were definite grumblings of creative discontent. The official window of the #100DayProject was coming to a close, so I decided to create my own 100 days of making with two friends so we could keep each other accountable. My project? I thought about what brings me the greatest joy. As a child, my mom worked the nightshift as a nurse, so I'd leave cards for her on her pillow and she'd leave handwritten letters under mine. Even as a shy student, I convinced former elementary school teachers to become my penpals. As far back as I can remember, handmade cards were the truest, most cherished forms of love I gave and received. So this was the action I chose to create for 100 days.  

Here are five valuable lessons I learned from this project:

1. Not everything you make will be good. That's OK. The point is to keep creating and make the next thing. 

The purpose of the #100DayProject is to get us better at starting. So often, it's our fear of perfectionism that paralyzes us from beginning in the first place. There were plenty of days when I was exhausted from work and all I could manage to do was write a cursive quote on a card and call it a win. But ultimately, you'll begin to find your rhythm, you'll have a breakthrough moment, and all the mediocre in-between moments make those days feel even more golden.

“Many times, I feel stuck and stare at the blank card. Sometimes I just have to start sketching an idea down. In that moment of merely starting, another idea will iterate from that simple sketch, and then the creativity starts flowing. The first moment of putting that initial idea down on the paper is like the effort it takes to inflate a balloon. The first few breaths take a lot of work, and after that, things start moving much more easily.”

— An excerpt from my journal on 8/17/16, Day 48.

2. Enlist support. Having an accountability partner is key.

100 days can feel like a long time. It's important to have someone to check in with daily, who is also navigating and experiencing this process of creating in a parallel way. You need someone to keep you motivated and laughing, even when you text them a picture of what seems like your most pathetic piece of #100DayProject artwork. Without them, this is a lonely journey. Accountability partners celebrate with you daily for beating The Resistance, make your art feel frameable and worthy (even when it feels far from it), and most importantly, help you value this process of creating. You will learn from each other, and exponentially grow and expand each other's ideas and creativity. My accountability partner Prasun, inspired me through his own #100DayProject, which in turn affected the way I viewed my own art and creative process.

“Creativity, like matter, can neither be created nor destroyed. It only changes form. Prasun is now using Indian ink for his project. His best pieces of art are those which presumably take the least amount of effort. It’s created on a whim, in a free-flowing movement, surrendering to the creative force inside of him. For some reason, those are the designs that I gravitate towards the most- they are a truer reflection and snapshot of the creativity moving through him in that magical moment. I’ve decided that I’ve had enough of chalk pastels. I want to work with a medium that’s more free-flowing. Tomorrow I’m switching to watercolors.”

— An excerpt from my journal on 8/12/16, Day 43.

3. Creating for ourselves is important. Creating for other people is even more fulfilling and rewarding.

Three weeks into this project, a friend approached me and asked, "You're making all of these handmade cards everyday. Who are you sending them to?" The truth was, they were piling up in my closet. I was embarrassed. So on Day 24, I reached out on Instagram, explained my #100DayProject, and invited anyone who wanted to receive a handmade card to send me a direct message with their address. I was overwhelmed by the response. Old high school friends, college friends who I hadn't seen in years, and complete strangers messaged me. It was delightful. The most enjoyable process was creating for a person who I'd never met before, scrolling through their Instagram feed to grasp how they saw the world and what they found beautiful, and creating a card that mirrored back to them words of encouragement. It was the most fulfilling and rewarding creative challenge. As humans, we have a fundamental need to create things. But when our art can be used to encourage and speak life into others, then it becomes meaningful work.

“It’s bringing me more joy when I have someone I’m intentionally creating for. It’s one thing to create art, but when you can use your art as a tool to encourage and speak life into another, it’s far more rewarding. I would’ve never imagined the reciprocity of love from this project and the emails and messages I’m receiving back from people overwhelm my heart. I’m discovering the power of our words. Haruko emailed me to thank me, and her words made me laugh and cry, all in the span of two minutes. I am blown away by the generosity of spirit and what can transpire with the simple act of making a card with love.”

— An excerpt from my journal on 8/11/16, Day 42.

4. When you sit and listen long enough, you'll begin to recognize the energy of your intuition.

I can now better recognize my intuition. It's joyful and light, yet it's grounded in peace. There is no resistance, the energy seamlessly flows from my gut to my head to my heart. There is a calm knowingness and a quiet confidence I feel. It cannot be forced. But you must cultivate the space to listen to it.

“I’m learning to be open. To not force the inspiration. It comes at random times, at strange moments throughout the day. Sometimes it comes in clear images, and I have to go with it, even if that person is not necessarily next on the list. Trying to force the design or message is useless. I’m learning to relax into this process, knowing that the right message will appear in due time for that particular person. My creativity suffers when I don’t allow myself the adequate time and space to relax and just be still and listen. As life gets busier and my social calendar begins to fill up, I’m finding it even more important to protect this time of creating, to protect this time of listening to my intuition.”

— An excerpt from my journal on 8/21/16, Day 52.

5. Once you recognize what your intuition sounds and feels like, expect other areas of your life to profoundly shift.

Little did I know that the first few days of sitting quietly with a blank white card staring back at me was the first time I actually sat down to listen to my intuition.

Day 1's card was completed at 11:30 pm on July 1, 2016 with the simple message- "Keep Growing." Day 2's card was a rectangle labeled 'comfort zone' and a stick figure standing far outside of it. It was a reminder for me to step outside of my comfort zone. These were the small, subtle ways my intuition was gently telling me that the innermost part of myself was striving for more in my life. That I needed more challenge and creativity than I was experiencing at my current job, and that I needed to take a leap professionally and personally to fulfill a deeper calling. 

Below is one of my favorite photos from my #100DayProject. I created it for my friend's son, yet the message was a universal one:

Little did I know that creating these different cards, often late at night and exhausted after a long day's work, was the act of listening to my intuition. The messages I would choose to draw and write on these cards were truthful messages that were buried deep inside. They were in fact, love letters to my soul. The three months following the completion of my #100DayProject was a time where I was putting all the puzzle pieces together. Trying out different combinations, flipping them around, matching colors and augmenting angles to align what my head, my heart, and my gut knew to be true, and figuring out how to make them all fit together. On February 3, 2017, I left my full-time job of 10 years to venture out into a new career path. One where I am forced to keep growing. And one where I am stepping outside of my comfort zone each day. It's never easy leaving the safety and stability that I've known for a decade, but there is a calm knowingness and a quiet confidence I feel. Because now I can recognize the still, small, peaceful voice of my intuition. It only took 100 days.

If you'd like to join in on this year's #100DayProject, we start on April 4th and create until July 12, 2017! Message me or go to https://the100dayproject.org/what-is-the100dayproject-fbb4d1754a90 to find out more!

Cling to Nature.

Captured yesterday on my run in Marin Headlands...

“If you cling to Nature, to the simple in Nature, to the little things that hardly anyone sees, and that can so unexpectedly become big and beyond measuring; if you have this love of inconsiderable things and seek quite simply, as one who serves, to win the confidence of what seems poor: then everything will become easier, more coherent and somehow more conciliatory for you, not in your intellect, perhaps, which lags marveling behind, but in your inmost consciousness, waking and cognizance.”

— Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

REVITALIZE DINNER: Spring Edition!

Last night we hosted our Spring Edition Revitalize Dinner- a 5-course plant-based dining experience celebrating the eclectic colors and flavors of spring produce.

Pani puri shot appetizers! Chef Kumar put a creative twist on this by combining Indian and Japanese flavors. Each puri was filled with edamame, shiitake mushrooms and sweet potatoes, which was enjoyed with a shot mixture of green mango juice, ponzu, yuzu, ginger, rice wine vinegar and masala.

Beet and quinoa tikki appetizers topped with chana masala, cashew cream and cilantro.

Spring pea and carrot salad with radish, roasted asparagus and meyer lemon confit.

Cream of cauliflower ginger soup with spring pea pesto and topped with a beet chip.

Spring pea/basil pesto on sunflower seed bread, served alongside the soup.

Chickpea crepes filled with mung beans/roasted asparagus served with cilantro coconut sauce and drizzled with a tomato puree.

Strawberry basil sorbet topped with sweet cacao nibs.

Lime 'meringues' made from aquafaba... light and fluffy and completely plant-based!

My favorite part of the evening- passing out the personalized gift bags we make for each guest. We filled these with lime meringues, my "Little Bites of Strawberry and Cashew Love" date balls, and Navitas Organic bars. Each guest was given a potted herb to plant as well, as a reminder of the evening and how we all contribute our unique 'seasonings' to the world!

Celebrating another successful Revitalize Dinner with Chef Kumar. What began as a simple idea brainstormed over lunch in the hospital cafeteria has blossomed into an delightful way to share delicious and nutritious whole food plant-based meals and creatively express our passion for community and wellness. Thank you to everyone who attends and adds their magic to the evening! Our hearts are so full of gratitude.

Action Negates Fear.

USAP Events: South Bay Duathlon 3/12/17

Action negates fear. Prior to any race, it's always the nerves and the 'what if' thoughts that flood the mind. Did I pack everything? Set up my transition station correctly? Eat enough calories and drink enough and give my body adequate time to digest so I won't get cramps? Are my tires pumped? Is my Garmin charged?

Once the gun goes off, it all fades. You're in the zone. You concentrate on the moment, on your breath, your leg turnover. Action makes the noise fade, your focus intensify, and your senses sharpen. 

We spend most of our time brainstorming all that can possibly go wrong, why we would never be able to do something, how we are too old/too young, how it's already been done before, why we're not pretty/handsome/smart/charismatic enough, fill in the blank.

This, my friends, is what Steven Pressfield calls The Resistance. 

“Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do.

Remember our rule of thumb: The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.

Resistance is experienced as fear; the degree of fear equates to the strength of Resistance. Therefore the more fear we feel about a specific enterprise, the more certain we can be that that enterprise is important to us and to the growth of our soul. That’s why we feel so much Resistance. If it meant nothing to us, there’d be no Resistance.”

— The War of Art, Steven Pressfield

The Resistance dies a slow death when we START. When we take action.

Maybe it's that non-profit you've always been dreaming of starting. Or that blog you've been talking about writing. Or that person you've been wanting to reach out to. Take tiny steps of action each day and you'll find that the fear begins to fade.

And perhaps it may be a triathlon you've been wanting to complete. But you're not sure where to start, what to eat, and how to train. In that case, I'd love to help you. I've been there, at the very beginning, and my favorite feeling is helping someone new to the sport accomplish his/her goals. Check out USAP Events and register for your first one using my code JKUSAP in the checkout, and save yourself 15%. Then contact me and we can get you started on a customized plan so you can cross that finish line. I promise you, it's one of the BEST feelings in the world!

Whatever The Resistance may look like in your life, today take action.

And notice how the fear begins to fade when you take that first step.

The World I Live In.

“I have refused to live
locked in the orderly house of
reasons and proofs.

The world I live in and believe in
is wider than that. And anyway,
what’s wrong with Maybe?

You wouldn’t believe what once or
twice I have seen. I’ll just
tell you this:
only if there are angels in your head will you
ever, possibly, see one.”

— Mary Oliver, Felicity

(Not-So-Secret) Big Dreams.

My old college friend Brian was in town visiting this weekend. We did the math. It had been 15 years since we'd last seen each other. The events that have filled the past decade and a half of our lives is a surprise to both of us. We laugh about how we met. He was a muscular college senior and the first person to introduce me, a fairly plump freshman, to weight lifting. At the time, I would much rather comfortably pass the time sweating over an elliptical machine than doing Russian twists and chest flies with free weights. But the confidence he instilled in me and the lessons he taught me about strength training changed not only my body, but my mindset. I remind him that he had a profound effect on the trajectory of my life, my health, and my well-being. He humbly smiles and changes the subject by showing me a video of his 5-year-old son. It is endearing to see him as a dad. I can only imagine where we'll be in 15 more years.

This crazy idea comes over me while we are hiking today. I turn to him and say, "Let's describe to each other in excruciating detail our dream life in 15 years. We'll write it down and save it and read it back to each other in exactly 15 years." He agrees. After lunch, I grab my notebook and pen. I lean in closely. "Tell me where you're living. What you look like. How your day unfolds." He speaks slowly. His face is contemplative. I carefully record each word in the notebook. I ask him to summarize his life in three words. I write those three words down.

We switch. I gush free-flowing thoughts and dreams of the projects I'm working on, who I'm collaborating with, the activities I'm doing. What I'm writing. The groups of people I'm serving. What my relationships are like. It feels silly and yet profound- imagining an ideal world that I can see only from a distance. But the fact is, it is clear and I can see it.

On March 18, 2032, we will read these letters back to each other. When that day comes, I hope we feel surprise and certainty all at once. I hope we can laugh at the absurdity of our big dreams that were recorded outside of a Berkeley cafe 15 years earlier, scribbled in a lined notebook and tucked away for safe keeping, while also having an unshakeable knowingness that we took deliberate and intentional steps to cross the chasm into a life we had always imagined for ourselves. 

The Light In Your Eyes.

“There is light in your eyes
when you talk about what you love
the way you explain the path of
pursuing your dreams
and laugh in pride when you
tell the story of how you overcame
the obstacles

There is light in your eyes.
Go on.
Don’t stop.”

— Anis Mojgani

A year ago while still working at the hospital, I was talking to a friend about how much I enjoyed the nutrition and wellness coaching I was doing in my free time. I explained how I loved creating a holistic long-term nutrition and wellness plan for each client after examining their current diet, stress levels, and the mental obstacles they had. It was like putting together a complicated puzzle and making sure all the pieces fit together. It was meaningful and fulfilling work since I enjoyed seeing others become healthier and happier.

I stopped talking, my cheeks still flushed with excitement. My friend stared at me dumbfounded. "You need to go do THAT full-time," he said. "It's so clear. Your entire demeanor changes when you talk about that work. That's what really lights you up."

The more people I talk to, the more I am noticing this. When the topic shifts to something they truly love and passionately believe in, it transforms them. Their head nods with enthusiasm and their eyes dance and they are physically changed by the energy pulsing through their heart. All I can do is hope they follow their intuition, knowing that the path before them will be illuminated by the radiance in their eyes.

The Three Zones.

Are you familiar with the three zones of proximal development? I've experienced all of them within the past month of quitting my full-time job and pursuing my own dreams of helping others outside of the hospital setting.

The first zone is the comfort zone. We all know this one. It feels safe and secure and monotonous. It's smothered in boredom. Things are easy and at the same time, largely unfulfilling. 

The second is the learning zone, where you're putting new information and pieces together. You're stretched, constantly expanding your knowledge, and experiencing deeper levels of growth. This is where we make meaning, forge new paths, and feel inspired.

The panic zone is similar to when you're pummeled by waves in the ocean. The gap between what you currently know and what you need to know feels too wide. You've lost your bearings, you have no idea which way is up, and the fear is screaming at you. Learning is halted. Your natural instinct is to contract and pull back and quit.  The survival mechanism kicks in full-blast. You.Must.Get.Back.To.Safety.Now.

So what prevents someone from heading straight back to their comfort zone and hiding there forever? Friends. Mentors. Teachers. People who push you up to that razor thin edge up against the panic zone yet keep you anchored in the learning zone. They reaffirm who you are, what you desired long before the fear started screaming, and believe in your potential. They remind you how much you love to swim. And that you're right where you belong, going after your big dreams and refusing to play small in your life anymore.

The most exciting thing? The more you continue to push up against the panic zone without fully getting submerged into it, your learning zone actually expands and widens. And this, my friends, is the whole point of learning!

So examine the different areas of your life-  your career, your relationships, your health, and how you contribute to the world. Which zones are you in? And who can you be an anchor to? 

I'll meet you in the learning zone. That's where I plan on staying for the rest of my life. Because I love to swim.

The Good and Bad News.

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”

— Neil Gaiman

The Bad News: Pretty much everything has already been done before.

The Good News: It has not been done by YOU before. With your unique voice, with your particular skills, and with your heart.

Go.Make.Art.

Togetherness.

“I feel beautiful
knowing
that something of
me,
is shared
in
you.”

— Tyler Knott Gregson

We meet different parts of ourselves in our different friends. The quirky, humorous parts of my personality are turned on in the presence of one friend, while the more introspective and philosophical parts come out in the company of another friend. It's beautiful to notice this- the diverse and unique little pieces of our personalities that are illuminated only in the magical presence of another. So be curious about other people who are not like you, who do not look like you, who may not believe what you believe. You may uncover parts of yourself through the fusion of their personalities with yours, and together, you'll discover a sense of shared delight.