Change Your Perspective.

Last week I started making art and writing from a different side of my table. Sitting in a new place has generated more creative ideas, in part, because it has literally changed my perspective of the world. I’m now facing my living room, with the sunlight shining on the right side of my body. My monstera and money tree plants and bamboo and orchid and fiddle fig are all thriving and growing in front of me. My vision board for 2022 is visible on the wall to the front right side of my visual field, and I feel, well, refreshed and reinvigorated.

Working from a new angle sparks new neural connections. It’s such a simple, small change that has profoundly impacted my creativity. I write today from this new spot, sipping my coffee and staring outside at a part of the sky that’s been obscured from my view for the past two years.

I invite you to change your scenery, or the angle of where you decide to work/play/create (even if it’s within the confines of your own house). Mix it up a bit! Seeing the world from a new angle and direction may inject your work with a new vigor and energy.

Tiny Adjustments, Big Changes.

Yesterday as I was riding I felt my lower back tighten up. It was the type of pain I remember feeling when I was a newbie getting used to the positioning on the bike. It seared down my left leg with each extension but I ignored it, thinking it was due to my lack of fitness and not putting nearly as many hours on the bike as I used to. As I contemplated the source of my discomfort, a pack of PenVelo cyclists came from behind me as we began the ascent up King’s Mountain Road. One rider came up next to me, greeted me, and kindly commented, “I noticed your hips are rocking a bit. You may want to lower your seat just a smidge- like 0.5 cm. You may find it’s much more comfortable. And you’ll have a lot more power with each pedal stroke.” I thanked him and he rode off.

At the top of the hill, I adjusted my seat down. Just a hair. 0.5 cm.

I got back on and WOW, what a difference. In comfort. In power. In overall speed. It was a cascade effect that changed not only biomechanics, but my mental state as well. I felt like a new person with new legs and no back pain. All because of 0.5 cm.

What other areas in life can we experience massive positive results from tiny adjustments? Investing 5% of every paycheck. Meditating for 5 minutes every morning. Waiting 5 minutes to respond mindfully instead of automatically reacting to a triggering person or text or email. Reading 5 pages of a book each day.

Small things make a big difference.

Unplug.

My power went out around 2am Thursday morning. I woke up around 3:30am and noticed everything was more noticeably dark and eerily quiet. I had no Wi-Fi. The usual gurgling of water in my Aerogarden was silent. I showered with no music and I wrote my morning pages by candlelight. I noticed how I strangely welcomed the quietude. It was a new way to begin the day- in silent reverence to the natural rhythm of the earth. I sipped my coffee and watched the gentle and gradual way my morning started as the sun rose.

I went to the office, and returned home later to a dark and quiet home. It was strange but also, a much-needed and pleasant change to the usual action-packed evenings I sometimes have. I stretched and did yoga by candlelight, rehearsing sequences I’d remembered from earlier classes. Without music or any instructor to follow, it was just me. My breath. My thoughts.

I drew a hot bath with epsom salts and soaked by candlelight, welcoming the silence and the darkness.

Yesterday I realized how much of our lives are driven by electricity and batteries- our computers, lights, Wi-Fi, televisions, phones.

The lights are back on today, but I won’t soon forget how badly my nervous system needed a deliberate pause and break from always being ‘on’ and ‘plugged in.’

Sometimes it’s good to unplug. To disconnect from the world. To sit with the unknown, where newsfeeds and social media are muted. Where you’re not consumed with the past or worrying about the future. Welcome to the generous present moment. You’ll find that this is the magic space where you can connect deeper with yourself and fully recharge physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Beannacht.

On the day when
The weight deadens
On your shoulders
And you stumble,
May the clay dance
To balance you.

And when your eyes
Freeze behind
The grey window
And the ghost of loss
Gets into you,
May a flock of colours,
Indigo, red, green
And azure blue,
Come to awaken in you
A meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
In the currach of thought
And a stain of ocean
Blackens beneath you,
May there come across the waters
A path of yellow moonlight
To bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
May the clarity of light be yours,
May the fluency of the ocean be yours,
May the protection of the ancestors be yours.

And so may a slow
Wind work these words
Of love around you,
An invisible cloak
To mind your life.
— John O'Donohue

I heard this poem read on a Friday evening of the very first writing retreat I attended in Point Reyes in the winter of 2015. The wind was howling outside, rain poured sideways in heavy waves across the open fields, and we sat huddled around a wood-burning stove with our journals and down jackets. I remember in that moment feeling the comfort and warmth in O’Donohue’s words.

This Christmas, my friend gifted me the book Anam Cara by John O’Donohue. As I stretched out on my comfortable ottoman and opened the book, this poem greeted me. It brought me back to that dark and rainy night, sitting in an oversized plush armchair, surrounded by other hungry writers. We listened to these lovely words read by the flickering fire, open to the possibility of a blank page and excited to discover our rich inner worlds that awaited us.

Here’s to 2022.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours. May the clarity of light be yours.

2021 Lessons.

Positive and negative thinking are contagious- carefully select who you spend time with

When you see something good in someone else, speak it

Wholeness is not found in a partner, it’s a state of mind

You are ultimately responsible for your own happiness

Say “yes” with conviction and “no” without guilt

Not everyone deserves access to your energy

It doesn’t get easier, you just get stronger

Do things that support “future you”

Everything is an experiment

Celebrate the small wins

Do less, better

Prioritize rest

Missing You.

Newest work. Alcohol ink on yupo paper, made with Procreate.

We never lose our loved ones. They accompany us; they don’t disappear from our lives. We are merely in different rooms.
— Paolo Coelho

This year I lost someone I loved very deeply. At times, the grief is overwhelming and all-consuming. Small things remind me of him- the fountain pen he had sent to me after his death that sits on my desk because he believed I’d author a book one day, the loose-leaf Oolong tea I’ll sip that was one of his favorite blends, the distinct Japanese incense he first brought over as a housewarming gift. I sense his presence when I meditate, when I hike in the Redwoods and whenever I am near the ocean.

He was my teacher and friend. He was also an artist and poet, always curious what I was learning and what kind of art I was creating. I made this tonight and it’s my favorite piece I’ve done all year because it captures how profound both life and death are- and how lucky we are when we can love and be loved by someone remarkable. Everyday I think about him and miss him. Grief is proof of how much we’ve loved. It’s love persevering.

I hope he smiles when he sees this from the other room.

Wants and Needs.

SCA Trail, Marin Headlands

Two weeks ago, my dad messaged me- “Don’t get me anything for Christmas. I have no wants or needs. Thanks.”

He’s at a place in life that I hope to arrive at one day. Unlike him, I have wants and needs, but nature satisfies many of them.

Nature is the best gift when I need to clear my head or be alone with my thoughts. When I want to build a deeper connection with someone for hours without sitting at a coffee shop. When I need novelty and want to experience the thrill of discovering and exploring a new trail. When I want to remind myself of my breath and being in this sacred body.

Just as some watch reruns of their favorite shows or movies because knowing the ending eases anxiety, the solace of a familiar, well-loved trail gives me the same stability and ease. If I could send a text to nature I’d say, “You’ve already given me everything- health, connection, exploration and comfort. I have no wants or needs. Thanks.”

Purposely Woven Together: A Spoken Word Poem

I am celebrating another year around the sun. This spoken word poem encapsulates everything I’ve been learning, unlearning, and embracing. It is about perspective, trusting the process, and celebrating the present moment. May you be reminded that your story isn’t over it. And that thing you’ve been thinking about creating?

Make it.

You’re the only one in the world with your perspective, skills, talents, and taste.

May you know that your life and story have been purposely woven together with intention.

A Taste Of Your Own Medicine.

(Photo: Zach McGarvey)

Don’t give them a taste of their own medicine. They already know what it tastes like. Give them a taste of your own medicine. If they lied, let your medicine be honesty. If they played with your emotions, let your medicine be maturity. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, even if it means removing yourself from lives that you want to be in. You are, no doubt, worthy of being valued for who you are. So be who you are.
— Najwa Zebian

Everything Belongs.

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The other day, I went through my old blogposts in an effort to organize what belongs here professionally and which other ones- largely the personal entries- can be edited into ‘private’ mode.

Nine years of sharing my experiences on this piece of internet real estate is a long time. I scrolled all the way down to the beginning of the archive here with the eye of an editor- cut, delete, trim. Take out the vulnerable, I’m-exposing-too-much-of-myself posts. Leave the recipes. Those are safe.

And then, out of the blue, I received an email from someone who wrote thanking me in response to an extremely personal piece I’d written several years ago.

I paused. I realized that everything here, regardless if it relates to my ‘profession’ or not, has made me into the person I am today.

And so I’m keeping it here.

I started this sharing my writing here around 9 years ago as a way to document a “30 runs in 30 days” challenge. At the time I was feeling lost and unfulfilled, both personally and professionally. For those 30 days, I made a commitment to move outside in nature and snap a photo as proof.

Little did I know, I was rewiring my brain. It forced me to take my attention off of everything going wrong in my life and instead deliberately look for beauty. I think back and remember feeling the shift in my energy and well-being from merely spending time in nature. In 2016, I wrote in my journal- “Is there a way to pair nutrition coaching with nature?” and in the past few years I made this dream into a reality.

Nature provided a sanctuary for my own healing and established the groundwork for my practice. It connects me to old and new friends in ways that only outdoor adventures can do. What started as a 30 day challenge has fundamentally changed my perspective, my career path, the way I see the world and the people I spend my time with. These past nine years and the writing and photos I’ve documenting along this journey are proof.

It’s never too late to begin exploring outside. You don’t need to be an elite athlete. You can be an exhausted human being who spends too many hours mindlessly scrolling and feeling anxious about the future. Perfect! Put on your shoes and open the door and breathe in fresh air and look at the sky. Eventually the fog will clear and you will feel the light shine on your entire being. Nature will remind you that you’re here- awake and alive.

It’s also never too late to begin documenting your journey. Writing your thoughts down. Sharing what you learn. You never know who may be reading, anonymously, across the world.

Celebrating the Journey: A Spoken Word Poem

As we hiked along the coastline near Mori Point overlooking the ocean, my client captured this video of our experience. Watching it later, I was inspired by the visual reminder of zooming out and widening our perspective on our life and journey, and this spoken word poem was birthed. May you also remember that whatever journey you’re on- career, parenting, self-improvement or wellness- to take time to celebrate how far you’ve come.

It’s tempting to focus on where you want to be

Without zooming out, it’s impossible to see

All the habits that you’ve broken and the wins along the way

Each step forward was a victory that made you who you are today.

So widen your perspective, and from this new view

Celebrate how far you’ve come

Say "hello” to the NEW you.